Professionally Jaded

A few months ago I floated to another unit and the nurse I received report from was so sweet and kind but somewhat “gruff”. I didn’t judge though because she had just worked a 12 hour night shift and I have mad respect for night nurses! I tried to work nights years ago and almost died 🙂 Anyway, as our report continued and we got to know each other a little she asked me how long I had been a nurse, I told her “It will be 14 years in August”. She then had a puzzled look on her face and said “how are you not jaded”? I then proceeded to tell her that I genuinely love what I do and I simply treat everyone the way I would want to be treated. She told me she had been a nurse for 4 years and was already looking at switching professions.
Just yesterday this same subject came up. Nurses getting jaded and losing their caring and compassion after a period of time. This came up in a different way yesterday. I am honored to be precepting a brand new graduate RN. We met for lunch prior to our first day together and it was so cool to hear why she chose nursing, to see that glow and passion for patient care and the profession of nursing. As we started our day yesterday, I could feel her positive energy and my heart was overflowing with excitement and happiness for her! I seriously felt like I was looking back in the mirror to 14 years ago when I started that first day! As the day progressed there were several times that I “preached” about the right way and not ever compromising care. She made a statement about not wanting to ever lose her caring heart and she was so glad that she seen through me that it is possible!
Since this theme of becoming “jaded” seems to come up over an over in our profession I thought I would write about it!! As I was thinking about this as it applies to nursing I realized it actually applies to all areas of life! Jaded is defined as: tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something. (Websters dictionary) WOW!!

How about you? Would you say that you have become jaded in your profession? Can other’s tell?

Becoming jaded professionally is easily identifiable. We all know that person that looks as though they are miserable in the workplace! Seriously, they are angry, they are fed up, they have no desire to be there, no one can do anything to please them and they have a complaint or a better way for every aspect of the job. I have been a nurse for a long time but not in the same place for a long time!! I have worked as a burn nurse most of my career but have also been a research coordinator, home health nurse, clinic nurse, and health science teacher. I have absolutely loved everything I have done in nursing! However, with each position there would be times that I felt “jaded”. Patients do not deserve to be treated like they are an inconvenience, a medical record number, a body in a bed. They are humans that did not plan to be where they are. As a healthcare professional we must remember that it is a privilege to help someone in need. When you get to a point of “being tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm” professionally, these are some things that I have found to help:

1) Look for ways to grow professionally -this will look different at different places. Do you have a clinical ladder? Can you do an in-service/education on something that is an issue? Can you teach others about something to increase knowledge in your area? Can you mentor someone? What is the next level of advancement? What do you need to do to move up? What does it take to get there? Anytime you lead others, you become refreshed professionally. It reminds you of your “why”. It will also bring you out of that bored state that we can all find ourselves in. Besides, if you aren’t moving forward you will become stagnant which leads to being bored and lack of enthusiasm.

2) Expand your knowledge-read articles, attend seminars, attend journal clubs, read books, take a college course or even go back to school. Learning new information helps you feel like you are moving forward and growing. Professionally we become experts in our field and it is easy to put on blinders for our areas, but there is so much more to learn out there! Take the blinders off and LEARN something new!

3) Take a break-take vacation, do whatever possible to “get away” and refresh and renew yourself. I realize this is not easy to do! Taking a break may mean that it is time to take a break from the area you are in. Maybe it’s time to move on and do something else in the same profession. Nursing is a wide open profession with so many different paths to take. Teachers-maybe you need a new school? If you are no longer effective in your position, you are no longer growing, you are no longer learning, you are no longer an asset to those around you, no longer improving the lives of others, maybe it is time for a change??? As I have said before, I have done many different things and usually it was to grow professionally, and to increase my knowledge in other areas. Each position I have held as a nurse has helped me to grow professionally and contribute to the lives of others. I can’t imagine staying in a position where this wasn’t occurring.

Take time to think about where you are professionally, and then think about where you would like to be. Are you doing anything at all to move forward? Maybe you are perfectly content with where you are…..does that show? As “new grad” season is beginning, it is my hope that these eager, passionate, knowledgeable, new nurses are joining a team of skilled, wise, passionate, caring nurses that are ready to be examples for this great profession. No matter what profession you are in, may you work so that others will wonder why you aren’t jaded.

~Amber

It’s in your HANDS!

I am not sure why but lately I have been paying attention to my hands and others hands and I know that is super weird but that’s me…..I am weird. I am constantly telling my littles…”hold Mommy’s hand”. I make my middles hold hands when they are arguing and decide they don’t have to stop when I ask them to. We have sayings that have to do with hands, such as “give me a hand”, “hand me that”, “you are in good hands”. Hands are powerful but their movements and actions are completely voluntary. Meaning I can choose what my hands do or do not do. I love looking at the older peoples hands…..don’t you know that every line, bump, or scar has a story? Hands can hurt, they can heal, and they can help. What do you find your hands doing most of the time??

1. Are they hurting others? You may think….I don’t hit anyone so this one doesn’t apply to me! But let me help you think of other ways your hands can hurt others. Are you pointing out others wrongs? Are you judging them? My dad always says this “When you point a finger at someone remember there are 3 more pointed back at you”. In other words, you should only be concerned for yourself not judging someone else.
Another way hands can hurt is by spending time doing things that take away valuable time? Just recently I took facebook off my phone. I realized I was constantly scrolling and reading when I could have been spending more time with my children. I am not saying that mom’s don’t need to be on facebook! I just know that it took more time than I wanted to spend. Time that I will never get back. My ADHD brain loves social media and I have to put limits on myself. My hands were doing too much scrolling instead of my ears listening! So, while your hands may not be physically hurting someone they may be emotionally damaging a relationship, pointing at things that don’t concern you, and allowing you to lose time that you will never get back.

2. Are they healing others? You don’t have to be a nurse to heal with your hands! Mamas do it all the time! When someone is hurt or sick sometimes there are no words at that moment, but a simple touch can let them know you are there. Healing can come from someone in the form of a hand written note, a meal, or a phone call. All done with your hands! The power of human touch is amazing. Research shows that it decreases anxiety, tension, and depression. Give a hug, hold a hand, and heal a heart!

3. Are they helping others? Really it boils down to this: you are either helping or hindering. My kids love to stand around while I am cleaning up a mess……I say to them “if you are going to stand here then you are going to help”! Of course that leads to a quick exit. You don’t have to be in a helping profession to make a difference in the lives of others. Hold a door, make a donation, pick up a piece of trash, lend a hand, mow a widow’s yard, mow a single mom’s yard, take a grandparent to lunch, volunteer, do something outside of yourself. Your hands are blessings, just ask someone who doesn’t have one or either of them. Use them for the good of others. We all stand in need of help at some point and time in our lives.

Today my hands have spanked my 3 year old, cleaned up a ton of glass from a storm door that shattered (long unbelievable story), washed clothes, cleaned toilets, (I washed my hands afterwards) hugged friends, rocked a child to sleep for a nap, washed dishes, push mowed the yard, and they are getting ready to go grocery shopping! I have been “off work” for 10 days…..I am looking forward to returning on Thursday to allow my hands to do what they are called to do!

Our hands can be folded to pray for those that are hurt, need healing, or need help as well. Whatever you choose for your hands to do, may you be a blessing to others and choose your actions wisely. You have the potential to hurt, heal, and help. What you do will impact those around you. What will you decide to do daily? It’s in your hands……

These are some pictures of hands that have impacted my life…..they are of my children. The far right (bottom corner) was a picture I took at a cross country match almost a year ago….a runner was hurt and limping and a runner from an opposing team came and put his arms around him to help him to the finish line….I keep that picture to remind me that there should not be limits on who we help.

~Amber

The one that matters sees you…….

So many great things happening in the nursing world this week! I have received my first invitation to a pinning ceremony for prior students that I taught. I remember the relief so well. The relief of no more stress about having to make a certain grade on an exam, not following proper procedure in clinical and the stress of not actually finishing nursing school-(which did happen to me one time). To all of you brand-new grads, I say “congratulations”! You truly are about to embark on a journey that will not only change your life forever but the lives of those who are in need, in pain, distress, and those who are unable to advocate for themselves. Welcome to the profession, I look forward to working along side of you!
To my fellow colleagues, registered nurses whom I have worked with over the past 14 years I would like to say a few things. What you do matters, what you do makes a difference. I see you struggle as you leave the rooms of those who are suffering, I see you struggle as you put aside your personal stress to pour out to others. I see you step up and work as a team when you have plenty to do for your own patients. I see you encourage others and celebrate small and large victories. I see you bite your tongue during rounds for various reasons, I see you tear up when someone passes, I see you smile when an intervention works. I see you comfort families when they have lost hope, I see you supporting your patient as they look in the mirror for the first time or covering up the mirror because you know they aren’t ready to look. I see you act silly for a pediatric patient to get them to smile, or even create a nail station out of cardboard so that a child can do something other than focus on their wounds and scars. I see those of you that stopped for manicures during your busy shift and proudly wore your messy fingernail polish as long as it would stay.
I see you sweat and work harder than any other profession. I see you rub wounds with love and compassion. I see you make patients feel as if they are the most beautiful person in the room. I see you go long hours without using the bathroom, without eating, or without anything to drink. I see you stay late to chart, and I see the look of “does this ever get any easier?” On your face. Not only do I see you but the one who matters sees you…..your patients.
Our profession is selfless. Not one part of what we do is about us. It is giving, nurturing, loving, healing, advocating, and intervening. The days are long and the nights are too. I know there are times when you feel like “I can’t do this anymore”. Maybe you are there right now? Take time to restore yourself, do something you enjoy….take a mental and physical break. Then, when it is time for your next shift take a deep breath, slide on your scrubs, put on your shoes and go in knowing that what you do does not go unnoticed. You may feel like no one sees or understands what you do, and honestly you are right. Your family has no clue, administration may of forgot, friends in another profession just envy your schedule, and society has different views of what you do. Remember this one thing: your patient knows what you do and they are appreciative, they see it, they get it and even though they don’t always show it, they are grateful. At the end of the long day or night when your legs hurt, you are starving and dehydrated, and you finally get to go to the bathroom, remember that you changed someone’s life that day or night and doing that will never be understood or easy.
Thank you for serving in this selfless profession. May you always feel the pride and appreciation for what you do. Not everyone can be a nurse. You are where you are for a reason and I am grateful for you.

~Amber

Love is spelled W-O-R-K!!

Just recently, my husband and I celebrated 15 years of marriage! It really blows my mind! We were high school sweethearts and then broke up during our college years but found our way back to each other. We have friends all around us with struggling marriages and divorces and it has started multiple conversations about how we have made it to 15 years and what our plans are to make it 15 more! Please know that we have had our struggles and every day is not a rosy love story by any stretch! In fact, just last night I tried to push him out of the bed for snoring, this morning we fussed as soon as we woke up about lunches, book bags, and shoes! I promise we are not perfect! I am writing this as a reminder to myself, really! A dear friend of mine, Caroline Auman, and I were texting this past week…..we say that one day we are going to write a book about being foster parents. If we do, watch out because you will laugh so hard you will pee your pants! She is currently fostering 2 children and she has 2 biological children. I would like to quote what she said because it puts my heart into words “Love is work, and love is working”. Isn’t that so true?? Love is work! Marriage is work, Parenting is work, Fostering is work, Friendship is work, Adopting is work! All of those “jobs” are in addition to your “working job”! All of those take lots and lots of love and that is work, but let me tell you something…..love works every time.
I wanted to put out a few blurbs about love in each of the areas of my life, in every area it is work but it is working!

1-Marriage
Ladies, I know you are tired. I know you are overwhelmed. I know you have “to-do” list a thousand miles long. Marriage is work. Marriage is intentional. Each day we choose our attitudes, our behaviors, and responses. Honestly, some days I don’t choose wisely! The more you love your way through this the more love will work. Have you ever thought or heard “this is just not working”? Love works. Bad attitudes, constant nagging, slamming stuff around, smart comments, silent treatments, and so on-they don’t really work. (I was only able to list these things easily because I am guilty) Love works. Be intentional. Make time for each other. Even if its 15 minutes at night to talk about your day (and even if you or your husband fall asleep while talking). Send “thinking of you” messages. Say “thank you” for the things your husband does! I know, I know, it isn’t the way you do it or would have done it or maybe you had to wait a week or a year but still say “thank you”. Gratitude changes a hardened heart and will soften the heart of those that receive it. Hold hands. This is one of my favorite things! We are both stomach sleepers (until I push him out or over for snoring) and somehow our hands end up at the top of the bed and we hold hands until we fall asleep. (I know you want to throw up) Pray together! Its really tough to argue with someone or be mad at them if you are praying together! If you don’t know where to start just say “I know this is weird but I want to pray with you” and go from there! Love is work and love is working in our marriage.

2-Parenting
Whew, Lord have mercy! Parenting is so exhausting! Yesterday was the last day of spring break for my school kiddos and all 7 of us were at home together. I cooked, cleaned, cooked, cleaned and then cooked and cleaned again before baths and bed! My 5 children are ages 3,5,10,12 & 18. All of them have different personalities, different likes and dislikes, and different mood swings! Sometimes I parent on the basis of “Is this going to scar you for life or not”?! I will tell you though, even with all their differences, they all respond to love. They respond best to patience, kind words, and positive encouragement. One thing that I am constantly working on is individual time with each child. It is so important! I do well with the oldest and youngest but the middles get mingled in so I have to be sure that I take time to spend with them. Pray with your children, eat dinner at the table together, have electronic free nights, go to the park, go outside and play with them (the dishes and the house can wait), read with them. One thing that we do that I love, is my 12 year old son will say “everybody tell the best and worst part of your day” and we go around the dinner table and tell it! I am definitely not a perfect parent but I do try my best to love at all times. I also admit to my children when I mess up and I apologize and ask for forgiveness from them. You have to be real with kids….they only want honesty, humility, and genuine love and caring. Love is work, and love is working.

3-Nursing
I have a really difficult time leaving my job mentally when I leave physically. I think about my patients constantly. I replay events in my head and I am always thinking about how to do better. It is important to mentally “take a break” and I do some days, but not everyday. Sometimes as a nurse I am frustrated when things don’t go as planned or I feel like I am jumping through hoops to get what I need. I have to remember, Love is work and love is working. If I care about what I do, then the rest will fall into place. You can’t teach someone to love and care! All of the other stuff can be taught! So if you are nurse, just love. Just love on those patients, love on those families, and love on yourself! Love what you do and you will do it well!

4-Fostering
I have a few friends that are currently in the “foster fog” at this moment!! As most of you know we fostered for 4 years and then adopted. It is a wonderful, difficult, happy, sad, painful, overwhelming, fun, funny, and exhausting world! So many people say “I don’t know how you do that, how you can take care of a child that may leave”. The answer is LOVE. Love is work and love is working. Love works in the life of a child that has no where to go, no one to hold them, no one to tell them “everything is going to be ok”, no room to call their own, no house to call a home, no one to identify as Mom or Dad, no one to sign their report card, no one to go on a field trip, no one to come to their school programs, no one to hold their hand, no one to order school pictures, no one to take them on trips, no one to buy them clothes, no one to cook their favorite food, no one to celebrate their birthday….the list goes on forever…but love works and love is working in the lives of these children. To those of you who are going from court date to court date, visit to visit, and child to child, just love. Keep loving them and being there for them. That is all it takes to change the life of a child forever. For those who say “I couldn’t do that” or “I wasn’t called to do that” then find someone who is and be a source of encouragement for them. Babysit, take a meal, send a card, whatever you can do will help! You will be part of something bigger than yourself and you will be blessed! To all the foster families out there: Love is work, and love is working.

The dictionary defines work as “activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result”. Love definitely is work!! It does require physical and mental effort to achieve a purpose! Your purpose is worth it though right??? Keep working hard, keep pressing forward, and know that you were made for a purpose greater than yourself by someone who knows that love works.

~Amber

I hope my children know…….

Only God loves you more than I do
You bring me JOY
I would give my life for you
I will always worry about you
I will always be your biggest fan
God has a plan for your life that is bigger than anything you can imagine
It hurts me to see you hurt
I want the very best for you
I believe in you
I am proud of you
People, material possessions, and careers do not define you, your identity is found in Christ
I get nervous for you
When I have you all home together at the same time and we eat dinner together or watch a movie, my heart is so full
Some of you grew in belly, some of you did not, but all of you grew in my heart
Family is not defined by genetics
Love others unconditionally, always
Serve others
Stay humble
Stay grateful
Never, never, never give up

I am the blessed Mother of 3 boys and 2 girls. I don’t have it all together, I don’t ever claim to. I am grateful for the opportunity to love, teach, nurture, and raise these human beings that I pray will grow up to make a difference in the kingdom for the King.

~Amber

Great challenges bring great changes!

I can’t believe it has been so long since my last post!!! Life is too busy, and time flies by! Recently a former student of mine posted a quote, I am unsure of who the quote was from but it really helped me the moment I read these words, “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you”. This is such an accurate, truthful statement. I stopped to think about all the times I have been challenged in the past 36 years, and with each challenge I can now look back and notice the change that took place. Not every challenge brings about positive change, some challenges reap a negative change but regardless, a change takes place. If you are breathing right now you have probably faced a challenge of some kind in your lifetime. Think about those for a moment. My list looks a little something like this:

-Parent’s divorced
-Struggled academically in high school
-Struggled academically in college
-Lost my place in the Nursing Program due to grades, had to return a year later
-First child born with special needs/cleft lip and palate
-Second child born with a bleeding disorder
-Lost my brother, my only sibling (I was 26 he was 31)
-Being a High School Teacher
-Being a Registered Nurse

These have not been my only challenges in life but they are ones that have brought great CHANGE!
My parent’s have been divorced for 30 years now. They have both remarried wonderful people and I am grateful for that. Their divorce was a challenge growing up but it has changed the way I look at marriage. I truly believe that my marriage is stronger because of my experiences as a child of divorced parents. I am grateful that as I grew up my parents and stepparents managed to get along. I am grateful that I have learned a lot from my stepparents and they have been a source of support for me. My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate 15 years of marriage. This challenge brought change that will last a lifetime!
Losing my spot in the nursing program was very humiliating. I was devastated and I was pretty sure that life would end that day! I really had to swallow a lot of pride. I moved back to my hometown, and moved back home. It seemed as if everyone around me was moving forward but I was moving backwards. I wanted to be a Nurse so bad but I had not made sacrifices or put in the effort that I was capable of to do so. At that point in my life I did not deserve to become a Nurse because I had not put in the effort! During my involuntary break from school I learned a lot about myself. I formed a force within myself that could not be stopped. I became determined, strong willed, and focused! I no longer took my education for granted. I returned to complete my last year of nursing school. I was focused, humble, and unstoppable. This challenge brought a change of humbleness and gratitude. Because of this challenge I continue to go after anything I put my mind to.
Having children with medical issues is challenging. My son with a bilateral cleft lip and palate changed my life. At first I viewed this challenge as unfair and overwhelming. However, he has taught me to be comfortable with who I am, love unconditionally, and appreciate the differences of others. God created him to be the most humble, sweet, caring, serving, and loving young man I have ever seen. He is full of life, fun, and never meets a stranger. He is loved by many and has no idea that his life (which started out as a challenge) has brought so much positive change to my life and our family. My daughter is missing a clotting factor (only 1-we have several) in her blood. This challenge started when she was 3 years old. Her surgeon was my boss at the time and long story short she discovered this bleeding disorder by a postoperative bleed that occurred twice! This challenge taught me that God places you exactly where you need to be and he has a purpose for where he places you! This challenge brought forth a change of allowing God to guide me and place me where he wants me.
Losing a loved one is never easy whether distant, close, old, or young. My brother’s death was sudden and very difficult to get through. It changed my life forever. Love without judgement. Speak kindly. Keep your relationships healthy. If you are thinking about someone, let them know. Be sure that those you love know it and that you not only say it, you show it. I am grateful for the memories we have. I am grateful that our last words were positive and that I will someday see him again.
Being a teacher was very challenging!! However, it brought forth a lot of change in my life. I learned so much from my students. Every teenager has a story they want to tell but just need someone to listen and to care. Being a teacher changed me for the better. My students taught me that not all teenagers are bad, teenagers have huge hearts, teenagers listen more than adults think, and teenagers want to be respected and treated like like the young adults that they are. Teaching was challenging for me because not all students listened or believed in themselves, no matter how much I told them to. Teenagers have a lot of pressure on them from many different areas and most of them feel like no one cares or understands.
The biggest change that being a teacher had on my life was becoming a Mom to my oldest son. He has changed my life for the better and I am so grateful for my teaching career because it allowed our broken paths to cross and come together. He has taught me what strength looks like, not to judge a book by its cover, and not to let your past determine your future. Teaching was a challenge that brought forth lots of positive changes for me.
Being a Nurse is tough. Each shift brings forth its challenges. Just the other day, I lost a patient and was quickly reminded how fast life can go by. With each patient I am changed for the better. I am humbled by what I see each day. I am grateful for the privilege to help others during one of the most difficult times of their life. Nursing challenges continue to change me. I never want to stop learning, I never want to stop caring, I never want to stop being whatever it is that my patient needs that day. The circumstance that brings a patient to me is what changes their life forever, the 12 hours I spend with them is what changes mine.

So what are your challenges? I know there are many! Just remember that challenges bring forth change and without change we would never move forward. So face these challenges head on because who wants to move backwards??

~Amber

Oh no……..let go!

Have you ever had to clean out an accumulation of “stuff”? Can you believe how much we accrue in such a little time? I have been cleaning out a storage building. You have no idea of all the “stuff” I have found! I found my box of wedding keepsakes-it was so neat to look back at the registry and see the names of many friends and family that are no longer with us. I found some pictures from high school, I had a good time reminiscing.…. until my daughter said “Mom, you used to be attractive”, I just laughed and told her “thanks”!
I found several items that I no longer needed, such as an elliptical  I haven’t exercised on that machine except for once so I am sure I won’t be doing it in the future. I decided to get rid of it! I have come to love a new app called “Let Go”. I am sure you have heard of it….you simply take a picture of an item, it then gets posted and people in your area can message you to hopefully get their new treasure! It is a nice way to have a yard sale without getting up early and freezing! It is a nice way to “let go” of unused items. If only it were that easy to let go of the trials, heart breaks, and negativity in our life!

Using this app helped me to put my life into words for the moment! A recurring theme for me right now is “let go”. On several different levels, personally and professionally. With it being the first week of a new year I wonder if you may also have “stuff” you need to let go? Such as: material items, stress, toxic relationships, feelings of inadequacy, negative memories, negative attitude, gossip, abusive relationships, guilt, regret, and the list is unending! Take a moment to think about what you need to “let go”. Although there may not be an app for it, you can focus your mind to get rid of the negative so that there will be room for the positive!

As parents, we must “let go” of our children at some point and time! Recently, my 18-year-old son left for Marine boot camp. I seriously thought “this is going to be good, he is growing up-I won’t have anyone to fuss at, no one will eat the food I was saving in the fridge, no one will leave the toilet seat up in the guest bathroom, no one will leave the empty boxes of cereal in the pantry, no one will honk the horn when I walk in front of the car, no one will jump out around the corner and scare me to death, no one will eat the entire pack of Oreos within 24 hours, no one will have half the kitchen dishes in their room for months, no one will be taking snap chats of me randomly, no one will text me one letter at a time to make my phone go crazy, and no one will leave wet towels on the floor”! I really thought I would be fine! I was SO wrong!! I would give anything for all that craziness! Now I stalk the mailman on my days off to wait for letters! Letting go is something that happens to all Moms at different stages. Some of us are letting go of tiny fingers to watch them take their first steps, some are letting go of a little hand that walks into a Kindergarten classroom, some are letting go as they drive away for the first time, some are letting go as they decorate a new dorm room, some are letting go as they watch their baby get married, some have had to let go as their child faces addiction, and Lord have mercy on the Moms that have to let go forever and outlive their child. No matter what the stage, reason, or season, letting go is awful!!
All I know is this……grief is normal, crying is normal, take life one day at a time (or sometimes I just shoot for 4 hour increments), lean on those around you, PRAY, trust that God has everything under control, remember the funny things/good times, and stay humble.

As medical professionals, we have occasions of having to “let go” of a patient. I know that it “comes with the territory”, but it is never easy. As nurses, we get attached to the patient, and often even more attached to the family. We support, understand, and do our very best to be whatever is needed during a time that families let go. It is a tough place to be emotionally, mentally, and physically. Thank you to my fellow nursing colleagues who do this daily! Please know that you play a vital role in the patients last days. Everything that you do, big or small, makes a difference to the patient and to the family! I am blessed to work beside of you. As you take off your shoes at the end of a long day, remember that no one else can fill those shoes, you are a difference maker.

So, whether you have to “let go” of something personal, or in a professional setting, it is my hope that you can look back on the situation, patient, or child and know that you did everything in your power to instill love, patience, kindness, healing, and strength. Letting go is a process and looks different for everyone. May your tears be few, your mind at peace, and your heart overwhelmed with love.

Hugs,

~Amber

Five lessons from my “Funk”

I have been MIA for a while! I like to post a blog every week and it has been a couple of weeks now! I kept saying to myself, “I just have so much in my brain and so many different emotions that I don’t even know where to start”! Anyone else ever felt like that? I hate to admit this but I have been in sort of a “funk” lately. My “funks” are usually short lived and teach me a lesson or two! I am always such a positive, glass half full, sunshine after the rain, look on the bright side, kind of girl, so when I get down and out it is a difficult place to be!
I didn’t want this post to be about WHY I was down and out….instead it is about the lessons I learned there.

1)Crying is a good thing!! Those who know me well know that I really don’t cry about anything!! Seriously, I have experienced lots of deaths, tragedies, losses, and have never shed a tear! I blame this on my mother because when I was growing up we didn’t get to cry! We were told to “Dry it up”! I remember getting really good at not crying and I am pretty sure that carried over into my adult life. During this funk I have cried more than I have in my whole life!! I felt better after each really good cry. So lesson #1-Its OK to cry!

2)Lean on your friends. How many times have you heard a friend say “call me if you need anything”??? All the time, right? Well during my funk I did just that. I called a few close friends and felt better each time I talked to them. These folks are your people! They are your tribe! They love you unconditionally and they don’t judge! These folks may also be a family member. My Dad is my family person. He listens and lets me know that its ok to feel the way that I do. He will often agree and understand. My friends, the girls that just “get me” are invaluable. They listen, they love, and sometimes they cry with me! SO, hold your friends and family close. Tell them how much they mean to you and thank them for being there. Lesson #2-Lean on your people!

3)Change your perspective. Not to be cliche but honestly….it could always be worse! I usually have this realization every time I walk into work. I am not a patient in the hospital, I didn’t just receive a call that a loved one has passed, I didn’t just receive a life changing diagnosis, and the list goes on and on. Over the course of my funk I had the privilege of meeting a family that is a lot less fortunate than I am. This family has no money, very little food, poor living arrangements, unreliable transportation, and poor health. The most amazing thing about this family was the love they had for each other. They were not complaining about their circumstances. They were just supporting and loving each other. I did as much as I could to help them and their gratitude was humbling. Let me challenge you to pay attention to others, listen to others, and open up your eyes to the hurt all around. I promise your perspective will change and your darkness will become a little lighter. Lesson #3-Perspective is everything!

4)It’s not about me. Each and everyday I am reminded in different ways of the “me, me, me” society we are living in. I honestly believe in putting others before myself. Doing for others, being kind to others, encouraging others should be the norm for all of us. When you bless someone else, not only do you change their life, but your life will change also. It is always better to give than receive. Our actions towards others reveal our true character. Our character is all that is left when we are stripped of material things, situations, and circumstances. If you had no clothes, no house, no car, no material things, no family, and no friends, what would be left?? Your character, your legacy, your influence that you have had on the lives of others. Lesson #4-It’s not about me.

5)Be grateful. Although it’s hard to be thankful during times of sadness, disappointment, and frustration it really does help to have an attitude of gratitude. I have heard of people making thankful list, thankful trees, thankful books etc. During my funk I took time to focus on what I am thankful for. It was all “normal” things, friends, family, food, clothing. What I am most thankful for though is a heavenly Father that loves me and reaches down to pull me up out of my sadness, wipe my tears, and use my funky times to draw me close to him and teach me these 5 invaluable lessons! Lesson #5-Be grateful!

In world of difficult days, devastating news, and day to day heartaches let me encourage you to hold on to these 5 lessons. I just read a quote and I am not sure of who wrote it (it wasn’t me) but it is so true: “Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” May you overcome your challenges, cry if you want to, change your perspective if needed, bless others, and be grateful for the journey.

~Amber

Who’s back there?

As many of you know I spent yesterday witnessing my oldest son swearing in one last time before leaving for Marine boot camp. Right before the Commander began the ceremony, he offered a few words of wisdom. One statement that he made will stick with me forever, he said “Just remember as you train and learn your job, become an expert, do it well and always remember to reach back as you climb the ranks”. That statement is so powerful!
On the ride home I had so many thoughts and emotions (still do)! I have been thinking about this statement and how it applies to my current situation as an experienced RN and healthcare in general. I did not become the nurse that I am today on my own. I did not make it through nursing school on my own. Attending Physicians do not become Attending Physicians on their own. Residents do not become Chiefs on their own. Think about your current position. Whether you are a student, a parent, a new grad, a med student, a physician, a technician, an assistant, or just trying to figure out your position, you didn’t get to this point on your own. Someone remembered to “reach back” for you. Who was that in your life? Sometimes that person is very profound and obvious to us and sometimes we realize it was several different people that didn’t forget who or where we were in our times of need. In our professional lives we must remember that there is always someone a rank below and they need us to reach back. Have you ever tried to reach really far for something to the point that you are uncomfortable or you end up falling? Imagine other professionals that haven’t made it to the rank that you are. That is exactly what they are doing! They are reaching up, they are uncomfortable and trying not to fall! If you are a student and you are reading this there is someone in a grade beneath you that is reaching up for help, looking up to you for guidance. If you are a nurse reading this there is a new grad RN somewhere that looks up to you for guidance and to follow by your example. If you are a parent there is someone watching and reaching for you 24/7! If you are a Physician there are residents, med students, and new physicians reaching for help and looking for guidance. No matter what your position there is always someone looking up and reaching. Be sure to thank those in your life who have remembered to “reach back” for you.
I want to encourage you today to “reach back” as you are climbing the ranks. Reach back for that colleague, co-worker, new grad, classmate, child, or new employee, and help them out. As you continue to climb the ranks in this thing called life, the people reaching for you will increase. May you reach back to pull them up so that they will know how to do the same for someone else someday.

A simple letter of thanks to my heroes…….

During this time of year everyone gives thanks and I would like to do the same!

Dear Patients,

Words are not enough to express my gratitude for you. For you have taught me so much over the past 13 years of my nursing career. Thank you for all that you have done to make my life better. Thank you for…..

Trusting me with your life, for trusting what I say, for depending on me to help you feel better, for asking me “what do you think I should do?”, for your patience with me when I can’t figure something out or I don’t have the answer, for forgiving me when I make a mistake or when I inflict pain for healing purposes, for choosing my shoulder to cry on or my hand to hold, for smiling at me through your pain, for showing me what strength really looks like, for the many times you have asked about my family, for the many times you tell me to “go home on time”, for saying “thank you” when I do something, for keeping me grounded and reminding me daily what is really important in this life. I have learned from you that my relationships, time with others, and attitude are what will carry me through this life.

Thank you for being my hero, for you are the reason I am proud to be a nurse. You are the reason I love what I do. You are the reason I am grateful during this Thanksgiving season.

Thank you,

~Amber
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